There’s a line between constructive and destructive criticism.
Maternal criticism may be amongst the harshest. The electrical activity of wide swaths of the brains of young children is dampened by overly critical mothers. Teenagers’ brains respond differently to maternal criticism. The emotional centers of adolescents subject to harsh criticism are juiced up, while at the same time the logical parts of their brains and the areas that allow them to feel in control of (and take responsibility for) their own actions are stifled.
Criticism is in the brain of the beholder.
It’s not only how the criticism is delivered, it’s also how it’s received. The brains of people who have more neurotic personalities, anxious (as opposed to calm), self-pitying (as opposed to self-satisfied) and insecure (as opposed to confident) respond differently to the same level of criticism. Criticism of highly neurotic individuals caused a surge of electrical activity in the amygdala (an area of the brain involved in emotion). The brains of individuals who scored lower on the neuroticism scale (more emotionally stable), were activated in a different region: the supplementary motor cortex (a part of the brain that plans and coordinates complex motions).
What can you do about it?
When you give criticism, be a little more gentle and when you receive it, be a little less neurotic. In fact: take a page from Marcus Aurelius’ book
Marc! Very insightful, but expecting nothing less from you...Thanks.
Really appreciate again your connecting brain anatomy and function with day to day behaviors and relationships.